Unhappy Camper

Thursday, September, 11th 2008 at 4:20pm

Interesting. It’s September 11th at 4:20pm. Being a pot head for two years of my life makes it impossible not to notice when it’s four-twenty. Odder still that I didn’t notice it was September 11th until just now...
In my dream a boy told me “happy birthday” and I said, “It is my birthday, isn’t it? I had forgotten.” He said, “the thirty-first, right?” And I said, “No, I must have forgotten it entirely and missed it then, it was yesterday.” The boy looked down and then I said, “wait, it’s July, not January, I didn’t miss it at all. You tricked me!” At that point in the dream I was in some sort of class room.
In another part of the dream I was helping a friend get away with murder, which is highly disturbing, but for some reason, in the dream, it seemed pretty normal. In fact, it was so normal in the dream that it wasn’t even scary. I was helping by taking a cooler filled with body parts somewhere where it wouldn’t be found.
I woke up and realized to my horror that I hid it with my mom’s things which would have meant that if it was discovered the case would turn right to my mom, and if not accuse her, then it would accuse me. In the dream, none of that occurred to me.
Today is this month’s psychic meet-up. It seems like just last week was last month’s meet-up. Time just moves faster and faster. I wonder what the passing of a year is like for my mother. Especially when x-mas stuff hangs around for months after x-mas. *sigh*
I guess I don’t have as much to write about as I thought I did. I’m all anxious because I don’t know what to do with myself in the intervening time between now, and 6:20pm when we’re leaving. I suppose I should go practice hiragana some more. (Japanese writing symbols.)
























Friday, September, 12th 2008 at 10:09pm

Mott,
As tempted as it may be to argue certain points to death and to bring up point after point on certain topics of recent debate, I've concluded that it's as fruitless as berry picking on a glacier and also as frustrating. I'm very passionate about my beliefs, and for one reason only, because I chose to believe them. And I don't choose to believe anything lightly. On the contrary, when I hear a bit of information I take in all the relevant knowledge I have on that topic, and if I don’t know anything to contradict that information, and I can’t think of a logical reason why the bit of information wouldn’t be true, then I believe it, unless of course the source has been known to be faulty.
It seems to me like people have this silly notion that because you have a degree, or because you are of a certain age, or because you have a certain job, that everything you say has so much more worth than someone without these things. The root source of information, say a scientist, didn’t give his discoveries exclusively to graduates, doctors and old people. He gave his discovery to whom ever paid to have those discoveries happen, and they give out this information in which ever way it is most profitable to them. It may come in a magazine or a college book, but either way, it’s going to spread by word of mouth, and by internet and by all forms of communication if it’s worth hearing.
Now, given, some things float around that are completely false. In fact, tons of things float around that are completely false, but I refuse to say anything is not true just because someone says that it’s “bullshit.” People say it’s bullshit that we landed on the moon. How about I say it’s bullshit that the earth is round, because after all, images can be manipulated, and I could be in a contained facility, where everyone is lying to me, and of course I could have some perception that deludes me into thinking the would could ever be round and it’s all really a big joke, right? And well, that’s bullshit! Declaring something bullshit doesn’t do any justice to your IQ.
There is just as much evidence for UFOs as there is for anything else that we commonly believe, and not that I’m saying these UFOs have aliens in them, and not that I’m saying the government is hiding aliens or having a conspiracy or anything else that might just make me sound a tad bit insane, but the point is, I am my own judge. I am the judge of what I believe. I don’t care if doctor told me something or a homeless man told me something, if it doesn’t make sense, then it doesn’t make sense, so therefor, how can I let myself believe it? If I can argue against something with any sort of conviction, then how can I believe it? And on the other side of this same coin, how can I stop believing in something without a much better argument to counter the one I have for believing in it.
Out of everything you’ve ever said to me, I’ve only found one major flaw, and that is your insistence on being so close-minded about anything that can’t be proven in some certified lab. I don’t give a damn if a pre-schooler in China preformed an experiment or if some professor in Europe who is certified preformed the experiment, and I don’t give a damn what society thinks of either of the results. I’ll judge both results and experiments with equal deference and respect. You however, based on everything you’ve said to me in the past, would disregard the preschooler’s work because he is a preschooler.
Do you like being disregarded because of your sex, age, race, location or background? Do you like being called less intelligent because your experiences lead you to believe something different than others? I think it’s stupid when people ignore there experiences and what they ought to know and go in favor of something completely different because of their religion, or because of something some certified person told them.
Now wouldn’t I be a fool to not believe in the things I believe in because no lab experiment can prove it true? Wouldn’t I be an idiot to disregard my own experiences because someone said bullshit? Wouldn’t that lower my IQ? Why don’t we just go own believing the world is flat. Why don’t we go on believing the moon is made of cheese. We take these things as false because school books tell us so. But have you ever tried to eat a bit of the moon? Have you tasted it and determined it wasn’t cheese? Well, since you haven’t, why not believe that it’s cheese? Seriously, that’s what your arguments sound like to me. It sounds to me like you are trying to tell me that without proof it’s not true.
I say innocent until proven guilty. True, until you can give me a more truthful truth. False only when a better truth is here to replace it. It’s not untrue just because you can’t prove that it’s true. That’s just silly. And of course, it doesn’t work the other way either, it’s not true just because you can’t prove it false, but if you can’t prove it false and it sounds logical to me, then I’m going to go on believing it. The funny thing is, when you believe in something you find things in your day to day life all the time that confirm your believes, or you find things that don’t confirm them. When you don’t believe in those things, then you don’t see the mild hints that point one way or another, so I’d really rather keep my gullible system of believing things because it leads me to more truth by trial and error than sitting around waiting for things to be proven.
I’m not sure if I’ve written this in such a way where you can tell my sarcasm from my sincere remarks, but needless to say, I will never argue with you about certain Motters again. If you lure me into arguing about it, you’ll find me a very unhappy camper.