Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Missed Something?
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I'm an idealist to the core, and I believe in putting love before everything else, except perhaps your own health. I am of no religion save my own. I am of no definition but that of what you may find in my blog.
Some say that "we're all going to die someday" and use this as a way to live their life however they feel like living it. They use this as an excuse to do drugs, to hurt people, to hurt themselves, to eat poorly, to not vote, to not care, to do whatever floats their boat for the next day, the next hour, the next minute.
Even if I'm going to die at the age of twenty three, I'm still going to eat healthy, I still won't party, I still won't hurt other people, I'll still vote in the election, I'll still be kind to my family and myself, I'll still write, I'll still love and make love, I'll still draw and create, create, create. It's not how long you live, but how you live. And to me, the most important parts of living are love, respect, health and creation. And I can't live my life without all four of those, and it's pretty hard to live without pride too. Let everyone else drink soda, eat cake, white bread, ice cream, margarine, and smoke cigarettes. Let everyone else drink and drive, and drink at all for that matter. Let everyone else beat their wives, feed their children junk food, work a job with no pride, put other people down to make themselves feel better, neglect voting the same way they neglect their mind and body and loved ones. Let everyone else put money before self satisfaction, creation and love. Hopefully if I write it all down, and dance my heart out, write my heart out, and give my heart away as often and as much as possible, then hopefully I won't slide into apathy. Hopefully I won't become old and bitter and uncaring. Hopefully I'll always care about my health, and my art. If I start to slide, then hopefully my readers will save me. Won't you?
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1 comment:
Hey. My name is Chawna. I'm Ashley Smith's cousin and I live with her parents. But that's not really important. Point:(ok, I'm bad at getting to it so I just will before I forget that I have one) Ash showed me some of your drawings and poems the last time that she came home, and I took some of them; I really like them. You have such a talent that I would have killed for; however, sadly I have fallen out of my own creative loop. Anyway, I took some of the drawings to school and one of my friends fell in love with the little dude in the hoodie wearing shackles with a tear. She wants to get it as a tattoo and I told her I would ask you if it would be ok for her to use your design.
Also, it's my senior year and I've been browsing for a good quote. There's one that is on one of your cards; "Justice in only rationalized revenge." that I would love to use as my senior quote, again, if that's all right with you.
I have to tell you that I tried to find more of your artwork online at school, so I did I google search(and found that Deviant Art is blocked at school--a travesty) and I found your blog.
I read a couple of your December entries, and I hope that you don't mind that, but it read sort of like a diary, and no one had commented...on top of that, I'm an annoying high school girl who doesn't know you. You must be enthralled to be reading this.
I read a couple of things about you writing a book. I love to write, but that was included in my creative loop(the one that I fell out of). Now I just get this huge excitement and interest for anyone who's still able to write. It's funny and odd, I know, but I really hope that it's coming along well.
And I really don't know what category this will fall under as far as how you will feel about it, but while browsing one of your entries, "Matt & I", I read your letter to Crusifer. I can't relate at all or understand what you're going through with that, but I'm sincerely sorry that you have to. And that's not an I'm-sorry-how-is-the-weather sort of thing. I can't imagine having to deal with it, trying to hold on but having been pushed to the point that you should never have had to reach; to the point where you're even questioning yourself. And I may be way off with all of this, and I'm sorry if I am and if it's offensive in any way. It was just...real(I'm in high school, so I don't get much 'real') and I'm so used to people pretending that they don't have problems. That they don't have shit to deal with. It was refreshing in a devastating way. Bottom line: it may not be my place but I hope that everything works out for you in the best way that it can.
It would be great to use that quote and my friend has been exploding at me to ask you if she can get that picture as a tat, so if it's ok or not or whatever, Ash has the info for my Facebook or E-mail or whatever you prefer. Thank you, Raederle.
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