My Socks vs. His Virtual Ring

Saturday, February 2nd 2008 at 10:00pm

Failure is what today feels like. I feel down and out. My boyfriend left for work this morning and I had a smile on my face, but right then, for some odd reason, I had this odd feeling that today was going to go very wrong, in such a way that I would most certainly not be smiling any more. Looking back, let’s see how right I was...

I spent the first hour and a half of my day after My boyfriend left (from 12:30pm to 2:00pm) making phone calls. I called Megan and Sara (two girls Arrin had meet me at the Boulevard Mall yesterday) and asked them if they were still interested in going to the Galleria Mall today. They said they were. They said they’d meet us there at three-thirty.

I called Tina, and didn’t get an answer.

I called Laura and she said she was out in Tonawonda with her boyfriend and couldn’t get a ride, so she wouldn’t be able to go, but she assures me that she’ll be at the meeting on Monday at six o’clock.

I called Amber and asked her if she was able to go, and if so, when. She said she was coming to my house at four o’clock after meeting up with a friend of hers, Pyro, nearby. I told her that was no good because we were supposed to be meeting Megan and Sara at three-thirty at the Galleria Mall. She said that was no good because the Galleria Mall security suck, and Arrin agreed with that. (Galleria Mall doesn’t even let minors in without parents.)

So I called Sara and Megan back and said we were going to the Eastern Hills Mall and asked if they could get there and meet us at four-thirty instead. They said sure, that’s fine.

So then I called Jasmine and asked her if she was coming. Jasmine said she needed a ride, and that she had one friend who wanted to come along. I said that I’d see if that was going to work. I asked her what she knew about the Eastern Hills Mall and she said that nobody goes to that mall and that we should go to the Galleria like we planned. I explained about the security and then asked about going the McKinley Mall then. And it seemed like the perfect plan because her house is on the way to the McKinley Mall.

So I called Megan and Sara back and told them about the change of plans, and they said that their father was going to be taking the car, and that they couldn’t come after all. I said I was sorry to hear that, and asked if they’d be at the meeting on Monday. They assured me that they would be.

I tried calling Tina again and she said she’d be at my house by four o’clock.

I called Amber back with the current plans and she said she’d be at my house at four o’clock.

Then at about two thirty, a mere half-an-hour after calling Tina, Jasmine, Laura, Sara, Megan, my brother Robert, my Mom, and Arrin, Angel shows up with his girl friend, Britney, and Britney’s cousin, and his own cousin. Four people added to the mix unexpectedly, three of which I didn’t know.

Meanwhile my Mom has gone to get the tire fixed because it had gotten a flat. Tina called me back and says she can’t go after all. Good thing too, because we wouldn’t have had room for her in the car anyway.

Amber and Pyro show up at four o’clock at the same time as my Mom. We pile into the car. Amber, Pyro and Angel’s cousin get in the back of the station wagon. Angel, Britney and Britney’s cousin in the back seat. Me in the front seat, and my Mom driving.

I used mapquest directions to get us to Jasmine’s house. Somewhere between my house and Jasmine’s house my stomach started to hurt, and shortly before we got to Jasmine’s house I realized that the pain was cramps and that my period was starting.

I wasn’t thrilled about this. Sure, it’s good that I’m not pregnant right now (though I’d like to be anyway) but it doesn’t change the fact that today I had too much to do to be dealing with pain.

Dressed in patterned-stockings (a pattern of holes like fish-net, but thicker like leggings almost) that were black. A short skirt from Hot Topic with a white and black plaid style. My boyfriend’s favorite shirt of mine with black lace around the bottom and top and a black and white striped design. A long-sleeved tight black shirt underneath. Black legging with patterned holes (similar to the stockings) over my calves with high-healed black boots. One of my spiked collars and a spiked necklace as well as a ring-connected-to-bracelet that I got at a Renaissance Fare. Black-lace hand-coverings, and My boyfriend’s spiked black hoddie as well as My boyfriend’s over-the-shoulder punked-out black bag. That’s too many accessories, too many people, and too much to do, for CRAMPS!

And on top of that, Jasmine comes out of her house with no one person, but two. Meaning three more people to fit in the car. One more in the back-seat, one more in the ‘trunk’ and Jasmine on my lap. I think Jasmine is hot and all, but I don’t want it bad enough to be excited about her sitting on my lap. It’s not like she’ll ever give it to me anyway.

So then we have to change the course that we drive because Mom doesn’t want to risk a high-way (much less tolls) with the car the way it was. So it took us longer than it should have to get to the mall. We finally get there and they all want to stop outside and smoke a cigarette.

In pain, and disgusted, and cold, I walked into the mall and found a bathroom, put on the one pad I just happened to have with me, complained inside my head for a few minutes, and then after another few minutes of pointlessly trying to primp myself in the mirror and to somehow also become more comfortable, I left the bathroom and found them inside.

Immediately we start losing people. Next thing I know I’m alone in the food court, dizzy, feeling like I got hit by a train, drinking a bottle of water. I spent an hour feeling like shit while Amber and others came and went in small groups. I gave them each a sign-up sheet for the Social Club and a writing utensil. I’m not sure I got everything back. I’m quite sure I’m missing at least one list, or at least one pencil.

I finally went into the vitamin store and bought a bottle of Ibuprofen and a mix of Calcium, Magnesium and Zinc. I took two from each bottle and waited. It was likely six o’clock before I tried to start promoting. At which time, Jasmine informs me that the security has told Angel to stop and everyone that was with Angel.

I got possibly four names on my list while I was in the food court. Then I went on an errand with Amber to return some items to Macy’s that I guess Arrin bought for some girl that didn’t want them. (I hate guys that try to win a girl with money, it makes me so mad.)

There were a number of difficulties and adventures just within that one hour that really are not worth documenting. There was another hour of difficulties involving getting a ride. There was a number of difficulties with everything, not the least of which being that everyone couldn’t stop goofing around. I tried to tell Angel in the beginning if he was going to be a part of this that he had to be serious. So much for that.

Saturday, February 2nd 2008 at 11:25pm

I’m just following directions. Even my own boyfriend hates me today. I feel like shit.

Sunday, February 3rd 2008 at 6:17pm

Today is going quite well. I woke up, and My boyfriend told me about his dream, and I told him about mine. We talked for a while. We fucked, even though I’m on my period, and it was pretty good. He enjoyed it. We cuddled. I decided that I need to stop hinting like most of we women like to do and just spell shit out. That’s what men want.

So I started to spell some things out this morning. I said to him, “Why don’t you be more sensual with me?”

Wednesday, February 6th 2008 at 3:00am

So I stole this ring from My boyfriend on Diablo II a long time ago. Like six or seven months ago I think. It’s a virtual ring that’s rare, but I’m still not sure how rare even now. We were trading with each other and our other characters in a private game and he dropped a ring called RavenFrost for his other character. It helps against poison somehow, but I forget how.

I thought to myself, this would help me stop getting poisoned all the time, sweet! I had only intended to look at it when I picked up, but then I compared it to the DwarfStar ring that I had on. Another ring My boyfriend had given me. Being that they were both rare rings, and that they both had come from My boyfriend (though one was given and one was not) I didn’t see the harm in trading them.

My boyfriend didn’t notice at first that I had taken it. Then when he realized he became upset. I didn’t realize how upset until it was too late to remedy the situation by returning the ring. He says that the ring made no sense for my type of character and equipment. I don’t understand the game well enough even to this day to affirm that myself. He considers this just as bad (if not worse perhaps) than stealing in real life.

This is going to seem irrelevant, but this is all working up to my point... My boyfriend wanted to go out tonight. Said that he was so tired that if he came home he’d go right to sleep, so therefor, he wanted to go to Adam’s house. Adam doesn’t live too far away, but the fact of the matter is, that it’ll be 11:30pm when he get’s to Adam’s house, and it’ll take him ten minutes to walk home at some point, and another half hour once he get’s home to get situated, bringing the time to 12:10am, and he’ll spend no less than an hour there, so I’d see him no sooner than 1:10am, and that was if he kept things short.

I argued that it didn’t make sense to go out because one was tired. Especially not to smoke some weed. Where is the logic in that? But that argument didn’t do anything for my cause, so I turned from logic to bribes. I offered a rub, and a meal, and kisses and sex. But that held no weight because I always do all of those things. What I don’t understand there is why those things are not enough for him to always want to come home...

So finally I said that he could pick up a beer if he came home. He said two. I sighed and conceded. So he gets home at 11:05pm, must have gotten a ride for that to happen. We go out in my Mom’s car and get two beers from Wilson Farms, (incidently two blocks from where he works.) We got back at 11:30pm, evening out to when he would have been home (with the beers) anyway.

He sits at his computer and plays Diablo II (which he’s recently started playing again, though I am likely retired for good) and I sit at mine and work on the Social Club Staff chart. This goes on for a while, and eventually I start working on my game design. He gets hungry and we head on downstairs and I make him eggs, just like I always do when he wants (even if it’s 1:40am in the morning) and while I’m down there I happen to look down and to my horror, he’s wearing my bran-new pink socks my mom bought me for Christmas.

Immediately a siege of images of Tre wearing my various pairs of socks throughout my relationship with him come to mind, and how my socks would have holes, and not fit right anymore, and be all stretched out and dingy after just one usage by him. I tried to maintain calm, knowing that I was mostly angry because of past memories. I calmly explained to him how his feet were bigger than mine, and how he’d stretch them out. I also explained how I didn’t wear my socks downstairs with no shoes or slippers. (I was wearing a much older pair of pink fluffy socks with black slippers over them.) I also mentioned that those socks were new, and that I hadn’t even worn them much yet, and that they were the only pair I had that went up to my knees, and that they were very warm, and I’d really not like them ruined.

He offered to take them off right away and I said not to do that, after all I wouldn’t want his bare feet to touch the frozen floor tiles in the kitchen. I’m not that cruel! After getting his eggs he rushed upstairs without waiting for me to butter my Rie toast. This clued me in to how upset he was about the whole thing. Ridiculous, really, I though to myself, to be upset because I pointed out a fact. It’s a fact that his feet are bigger than mine. It’s a fact that they will stretch out if he wears my socks. It’s a fact that they won’t fit me right anymore. And I didn’t even yell at him! I basically asked him not to do it again.

I believe he’s sleeping now. We got into a huge argument about it once I got in bed. He says that I shouldn’t care because I “didn’t even pay for them” which is a ludicrous argument. So I should ruin things just because I didn’t pay for them? How about I wreck my mom’s computer since I didn’t pay for it! How about I wreck his skater pants because I didn’t pay for those! How about I just leave the sink dirty and let it clog since I didn’t pay for that! Come on. So I told him that he wasn’t being logical and that it was probably due to him drinking.

He immediately takes this as me accusing him of being drunk. Drinking a couple beers and having your judgement altered is entirely different than be drunk, a. k. a. trashed. I think I know the difference, and I think that difference is important. And it’s silly for him to say that it’s not important when he himself constantly draws the line between the two. It’s the same thing when I say it, (“drunk, drinking, whatever” he said) but somehow it’s an important difference when he talks about it. Logic impairment, or what?

And so I brought up the RavenFrost ring. I took the ring because I didn’t feel it was that serious. I took the ring because I felt the same way he did about the socks. I took the virtual ring and didn’t think that it would be a big deal. He took my socks because he liked wearing my socks, and even admitted that he knew I’d be upset! I didn’t know he was going to be upset about the ring, I mean I knew he’d say something about it, but I thought I might just say I really wanted it, and that he might just let me have it. He explained to me that it was serious, (in a less than calm manor) and I tried to offer it back, but it was too late for that of course. Probably was half the reason I stopped playing come to think of it.

And guess what? He didn’t like my analogy. He says they are two completely unrelated things and can in no way be compared. My socks can be replaced for five dollars. His ring can’t. That really made me angry. So my one pair of knee-high socks that costs around five dollars than my mom gave to me as a gift on Christmas, which are new are simply not as important as a virtual ring? I understand the ring is rare, and that it’s principle, and that it’s essentially the same thing. I gave the virtual ring the credit of being on the same level as a physical gift that I really like and frankly need, and he had the nerve to tell me his rare and virtual ring was more important because of the time it took to get it.

Like as though he spent all that time playing the game just for that ring. As though it doesn’t take time and consideration on someone’s part to make that five dollars, to buy the socks, to keep the socks clean and like-new. As though my feelings are just not as important because his ring was rare. But you know what? I bet those socks aren’t still at Target. I bet I can’t just go and replace them. I bet getting those exact socks again would be really hard. And I bet he could simply play the game some more and end up with that ring again in the process.

And what makes me even more mad about it is the fact that he mad such an issue about it. I have gotten barely any attention since I got home, no affection (unless a peck on the lips or cheek counts) at all, and been bombarded with argument. I listened to him vent about his day, and his co-workers. I let him drink. I cooked him dinner. I let him play his game without complaint. I watched a show with him that we both like. I didn’t scream at him about the socks even though it was very important to me. I offered to rub him, though he declined. (I tried to do it anyway, but he wasn’t cooperative.) I even went to hold him even though he was being down-right rotten to me, and this is what I get?

For one thing, the ring isn’t relevant, because I thought we were forgiving each other for anything that happened before our one year anniversary on December 20th 2007. For another thing, I thought that we were going to stop arguing about stupid shit and be calm. And I really was being calm at first, but being called a liar (he told me I was lying about not understanding about the ring at the time) on top of being told that my socks were not as important as his virtual ring, and that I’m an ass-hole, and that he disliked me at the moment... How could I control the tone in my voice after all of that? After everything I just did for him!

I feel like he’s slowly going back on everything we agreed upon in the Love Contract. I thought we were long past petty arguments like socks. All he had to do was say that he didn’t mean to ruin my socks and that he wouldn’t do it again. Not that I know they are ruined per say, but they are undoubtedly loser and will wear out faster.

And then, on top of being sexist with me, which he always is. He was being racist too. Saying I was just being such a bitchy ass hole because I’m a white woman. He told me to think about this some more in my white brain. How insulting is that? I know he had a bad day, but come on, what do my socks and me being white have to do with each other? And if this is all because of two goddamned beers I used to bribe him to come home, then fuck it, he can go out and I can be sad that he’s gone.

What-the-fuck-ever. I’m sick of explaining myself over and over and over again. I’m sick of being logical, and rational, and honest and being called a lying idiot. I thought he had decided he was serious about being with me forever. I thought he trusted me. I thought he believed me. I thought a lot of things. I thought I knew what I should think.

Note to self: Write an entry about why I’m so touchy about my belongings.

Conclusions, Circles and Continue

Saturday the 12th of January, 2008.

It is 6:09pm at the moment.

Yesterday My boyfriend and I repeated the binding ceremony that was done on January 11th 2007. It was a much grander ceremony having the weight of a year behind it, and being an anniversary of sorts. The small metal-heart-box was brought out of it’s pink-tin container within the swede-pink-MK-bracelet box in the bottom drawer of our jewelry box and rested before my largest quartz-crystal point before an orange candle with two wicks, two flames, to represent the two of us.

The entire room was lit with candles, including the bathroom so that there would be no artificial light at all. It smelled of vanilla, apple pie, and the soft scent created by other mild candles mixed together. It smelled of home, protection, and contentment.

I brought out all of my stones and places them artistically about the room, pleased with my arrangement, with my collection, with my knowledge and with my own power. I held my small violet swirled-stone ball. It’s not perfectly round, and you can feel it’s indentations and ripples, though it’s entirely smooth to the touch. I love it’s energy. It helped me focus myself.

I poured a generous, but not extravagant amount of extra virgin olive oil into a small tinted-glass bowl. I pulled out his promise ring (though not his engagement ring, I’m not sure where he’s been keeping that) and his engagement necklace, and his pouch of protective stones to lay beside the oil and the double-wicked candle, as well as the crystal and the metal-weave box shaped like a heart.

Because I don’t have a chalice or an alter, I took a slab of 2 by 2 wood painted solid black that was about a foot long (left over from making the shelves above my bed and television) and taped five candles (with black ducked tape I was given for Christmas from mom) to it. Since I only had green, red and white taper candles I looked up their exact meanings so I could get their placement right.

I taped the green candle in the center. Centering us in logic, prosperity and prudence. I used two white candles beside that, one I inscribed with truth with a small pocket knife I gave My boyfriend last year, and the other I inscribed understanding, and on the ends, I used two red candles. One was maroon and the other was bright red. The bright red one I inscribed with love and the maroon with lust. Perhaps not traditional, but that’s suiting since neither My boyfriend or I are traditional people. (Except in the sense that he want’s to be the working man of the house, and I want to be the house-hold wife who mothers, cleans and cooks.)

I dressed in a flowing, layered, partly transparent skirt cut unevenly into points with a short-skirted slip of black and pink over it. Not a combination I have ever used before. My boyfriend liked it as much as I did.

When he arrived at eleven twenty we meditated on the bed first. A pre-ceremonial protection meditation, concentrated on putting us together within a white bubble of protection, filled with light and completely surrounding us both. Within the white bubble is a white figure eight, one side of the eight enclosing him, and the other side enclosing me, passing understanding, love and truth between us.

We meditated on this facing each other.

My boyfriend without a doubt felt the effects of meditating on his imagery with me. As we moved to the couch (our other bed-couch that actually used to be used as our bed before we decided our couch made a better bed) we were affectionate and whispered to each other, since it was obvious we could not talk since it would be too loud in the quiet candle-lit room.

Touching, kissing, and resettling I set up for the cleansing part of the ceremony. The prerequisite to the binding spell. We dripped wax onto both sides of the double-wicked candle, one side with his finger-print and the other side with my finger-print.

(By the by, if you decide to go do your own binding spell make sure you do not do exactly what you have read here. Spells are to be invented by the person or persons involved and should be as unique as possible, involving actions, words, positions and tools pertaining to what you believe should be done to create the desired result. Spell copying, or ‘recipe spells’ will hold less meaning than self-written incantations, or self-invented candle or stone rituals. And do remember that when you bind someone to you, you also bind yourself to them. Never do this unless you are willing to give yourself entirely to the person you are binding.)

Then we mediated on our cleansing our Chakras: First the red chakra; Located at the base of the spine, this chakra forms our foundation. It represents the element earth, and is therefore related to our survival instincts, and to our sense of grounding and connection to our bodies and the physical plane. Ideally this chakra brings us health, prosperity, security, and dynamic presence. The first chakra is our physical identity. We filled with red, connected to each other in red strings, and then moved up.

The orange chakra, located in the abdomen, as well as lower back, and sexual organs, is related to the element water, and to emotions and sexuality. It is our emotional identity. It connects us to others through feeling, desire, sensation, and movement. This chakra, when strong and healthy, brings us fluidity and grace, depth of feeling, sexual fulfillment, and the ability to accept change. The second chakra is oriented in self-gratification. And so we filled and connected in orange, only leaving the red ball exempt from filling with orange.

Then up to the third chakra. The power chakra, and it is yellow. Located in the solar plexus; it rules our personal power, will, and autonomy, as well as our metabolism. When healthy, this chakra brings us energy, effectiveness, and spontaneity. This chakra is our ego identity and is oriented in self-definition. As so we filled and connected with yellow, only leaving the orange and red balls of energy exempt from filling with yellow.

Then my favorite chakra, the fourth, with the element of air. This chakra is the one I feel when I’m lonely, or upset, or happy. Located in the heart, it is the middle of seven chakras. It is related to love and is the integrator of opposites in the psyche: mind and body, male and female, persona and shadow, ego and unity. A healthy fourth chakra allows us to love deeply, feel compassion, have a deep sense of peace and centeredness. And oh how I feel that peace and centeredness when I’m with My boyfriend. It vibrates when I’m around other psychics and that feeling is so unique compared to touch, smell, taste, sight and sound. It is wonderful when I’m feeling love, and it’s the worst pain I can imagine when feeling separated from love. I had never felt it so strongly as I did when Jeremy left me. It hurt like fire for over a month, day in and day out. When emotions hit us so spiritually and so physically, how can anyone not believe in another plane filled with emotions and energy alone? Incidently this is also the chakra of self-acceptance, and social identity. And so we filled with green, leaving only the yellow, orange and red chakra-balls beneath it.

The fifth chakra is located in the throat and is thus related to communication and creativity. Here we experience the world symbolically through vibration, such as the vibration of sound representing language. This is the chakra of our creative identity, oriented to self-expression. It is the blue chakra. And so we filled with blue, leaving only the previous colored balls in place, and washing ourselves everywhere else in blue.

The second-last chakra, or should I say, second-highest chakra is that of light, oriented to self-reflection. It is our archetypal identity. This chakra is known as the brow chakra or third eye center. It is related to the act of seeing, both physically and intuitively. The purple chakra opens our psychic faculties and our understanding of archetypal levels. When healthy it allows us to see clearly, and to see from a higher plane and level. And so we filled with purple.

And lastly, the highest chakra, the seventh which is oriented to self-knowlegde and holds the element thought. This is the crown chakra that relates to consciousness as pure awareness. It is our connection to the greater world beyond, to a timeless, spaceless place of all-knowing. When developed, this chakra brings us knowledge, wisdom, understanding, spiritual connection, and bliss. This chakra is violent and is our universal identity. And so we filled with violet coming in through the top of our heads, until we were filled and connected with violet energy. Then we filled again with white, only leaving the chakra balls in place, completing the chakra cleansing.

I’d like to point out that for each of these chakras we have a different identity. Physical, emotional, ego, social, creative, archetypal, and universal. To me, this means that each of those energies contains a unique code, like a strand of DNA that directly relates to us in that form. Currently we are all human, based in red and in physical but we also are connected to our emotions, our ego, our social side, our creativity, and many of us are also connected to our archetypal and universal selves. But notice that some people don’t get much past physical. Perhaps alcoholics who deny their emotions and have sex with girls while lying to them about love when they’ve never even felt love would fit the bill.

I believe that when we leave this body that our physical selves, (which will obliviously rot) will have a red strand of information, that contains the DNA information that we lived in as a body as well as our memories of this life-time, and lessons. That piece of information will be a bit of energy that comprises our entire being, and it will be everywhere, just like our DNA in our bodies is everywhere. I believe that those who can remember their past lives are people who either were born into this life as a more advanced soul who couldn’t help but remember in their sleep or even while awake because there is so many useful things to remember that their firmly-connected spirit wants to convey, or they are people who have developed their chakras and their powers during this life-time. I will make my children write their dreams first thing in the morning everyday as one way to help them tap into the messages we receive for our greater selves. (Even if you don’t believe in dreams being real in the other realm, then look at it this way: Dreams take place in your subconscious, allowing you to process your real knowledge, emotions and memories without being clouded by present events or external interactions. Therefore there is an infinite amount of self-knowledge to be gained by remembering and writing them.)

Following this train of thought, our crown chakra would be the "DNA" of our entire soul, containing the information of all of our past lives in and out of the physical plane. But because we are rooted in our red energy, tapping into that energy requires aligning all of the chakras between red and violet. This would be the purpose for meditating. To learn what we already know. Funny, ain’t it?

After the chakra cleansing I lit the five candled alter I made just for last night. Returning to the couch I put an "R" on My boyfriend’s forehead in oil, and he put a "C" on mine. Then we proceeded to write out our future wishes for our relationship in oil on each others bare chests. He only wrote one, I wrote many. Neither of us told each other our wishes. I think it’s beautiful to tell each other in subconscious, in energy, in body and in oil but not in words. It made it so personal.

It made it us.

We held the violet ball in our right hands together between us, and clasped our left hands above that. I told him to remember our worst memories, the ones where he felt guilty, or angry, upset or betrayed. I remember that first time I saw him drunk, when I became so enraged that I banged his head into the floor. I feel guilty about that night, and indignant as well. But now that is so long ago, and it was time to let it go. Then I said to shatter the image, and to forgive ourselves and each other for these memories.

Then, the more pleasant memories were to be recalled. Last year’s binding ceremony where him and I severed bits of hair and melded them together by melting wax over them inside the metal-heart container (with a metal flower adorning the top and a woven-ish pattern covering the entire box). The day that we realized we finally felt like our relationship was back a month after my return from my three-week trip. The trip to Toronto and the convention and when My boyfriend knocked the paper oriental light down and us trying to put it back up properly. The Adam’s Mark hotel during my Uncle’s Super Grands tournament, and having sex in the bathroom, swimming in the pool and watching the fighters in side-rink seats. Those memories to be tucked carefully away, never forgotten.

Then I circled the heart-box the around the candle. This metal box being the only object to connect us to last year’s ceremony, and representing this past year. When back at it’s original point before the crystal I placed a paper heart-cutout picture of the two of us looking at each other over the hairs and wax melted inside. I dripped red wax from my lighting candle, the same used to make the finger prints on the large double-wick candle, and covered the picture with wax. Then I snipped new hair clipping, winding his curl around my straight hair before dropping it into the small container and melting it on top of the picture.

The picture is still visible, but through a red-tint and a little fuzzy in places. I like to think of the fuzzy spots as the bad memories we’ll forget, and what we can see being tinted in red because we’re remembering passion, and love and happiness.

Then, for the final testament of our commitment. A Love Contract we had joked about making two nights before yesterday came into being the night before yesterday. He agreed to it’s terms prior to last night’s ceremony. Casually, he sliced open his finger to sign it in blood and also placed his finger print in blood on it as well. I picked a convenient scab to sign my own name, and added a lip-print in lipstick as well as my official signature in charcoal.

That contract is as follows:

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