Feeling Good For Once

Friday the 11th of January, 2008.

It is 12:46pm at the moment.

I dreamed of Jeremy last night. My boyfriend too, of course, but Jeremy seemed to consume the largest part of the dream. I miss him. He should be my friend right now. We should be able to hang out, call each other up and talk about stuff. *sigh* He’s had the same look in his eye ever since the day he broke up with me. That same helpless, sad, longing look.

I can’t help but want to help him. He deserves so much more out of life. Nothing I can do about it though, huh? He’s got a jealous girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend who wouldn’t exactly approve either. Not that I would particularly feel inclined to do anything with Jeremy anyway, but then, I understand. If I was Janet, I probably wouldn’t trust me either.

Though after My boyfriend and I am married, then there should be no reason to be jealous about it anymore, right? I know that’s more ‘intellectual logic’ than it is ‘emotional logic’ and it happens that emotional logic is what we’re dealing with in this case.

It is 2:31pm at the moment.

I love how my day changes when My boyfriend gets me up in the morning. We’ve been getting up at eleven-thirty, which is one-quarter due to me, and three-quarters due to him. I say that because I programed the alarm into my clock, and I do try to cooperate with him getting me awake in the morning, but oh how spoiled I am when it comes to that! I’ll sleep for ten to twelve hours a night if no one wakes me up, and I know that I don’t need to sleep that long anymore.

We went to sleep at one-thirty last night, an all-time record for us in being so early, and still this morning My boyfriend had to turn the light on for me, talk to me, pull me, (have sex with me) and keep talking to me some more before I finally was fully aware enough to not want to go back to sleep again. It feels good to be awake after sleeping an almost normal amount of time. I suppose 1:30am to 11:30am is ten hours, but then, we did wake up a lot last night. I think it was because we were both so thirsty and we were out of water. My boyfriend ended up going downstairs to get some water for us both at seven o’clock in the morning, and we had trouble going back to sleep at that point.

Anyway, I’m glad we’re getting up. I’m glad we’re exercising. I’m glad he’s coming home to me at night. I’m glad we’re back to talking about kids and marriage as a definite instead of as an "if." I’m enjoying drawing with him, after all, I always learn so much when we draw together. He’s proud of my efforts. I asked him how long he thought it would take before I could draw like he can. He said, "ten years," and yesterday, he lowered it to "eight years" because of how well I mimicked his shading techniques on a sketch of his I was finishing.

I’m feeling really good today.